What is “Nesting”?
The home that the children grew up in, is often called the “Psychological Home”. It is difficult for children to deal with the divorce of their parents, and on top of that huge loss in their life, to have to move out of the home that they are used to living in makes their loss even more dramatic.
Parents should consider, in the concept of nesting after a divorce, what the children need. Normally, bouncing back and forth every few days is just too difficult.
Belligerence from Children
Children take their cues from their parents. They feel as though they are betraying a parent when they enjoy spending time with the other parent. Sometimes, belligerent behavior relates to this concern of betrayal.
Letting children know that they are free to love both parents, and expected to love both parents, will help this behavior.
What is “Parental Alienation”?
Normally, one parent feels threatened that the children will love the other parent more. While this is very child-like behavior on the part of that parent, this fear is very common. The consequence of this fear is that the parent, whether knowingly or unknowingly, will do what they can to cause the children to either fear their other parent, or learn to not trust him or her. This is parental alienation and is a very quiet form of emotional abuse.
Children are very harmed by this activity, and often the only way to stop it is go back to court with a court appointed psychologist. The psychologist will assist the court in determining whether custody or shared parenting should change or halt. This is often the only way to stop this continued harm to the children.
How Are Disagreements about Medical Treatment, School and Religion Resolved?
In post-divorce matters, any disagreement about medical treatment should be determined by the final divorce papers, which should have addressed what to do in this situation.
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